The Smurfs One-Shot Collection
by Here's The Plan
Summary: Yup, one-shots about our favorite blue creatures. Will have slash pairings, femslash pairings, het pairings, or even no pairings. Most will be from the second movie, so there will be spoilers! Ratings will vary. All warnings will be listed in the summary! Feel free to ask for a certain story, as well. Reviews loved!
1. Siblings

**One Shot #1:**

**Title: Siblings**

**Rating: K**

**Canon or AU?: Canon, mostly.**

**Pairings?: None**

**Inspiration: The scene in the movie where Vexy says, 'Father's going to kill us!'. Spoilers for the movie.**

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"Father's gonna kill us! After her!" Vexy the Naughty shouted, her and her brother scurrying over to attack Smurfette, who had just escaped her glass prison. Normally a phrase like that wouldn't be questioned. Obviously Gargamel would be upset when he found out the Smurf had escaped, and sure he would take it out on the Naughties, but... Something about the way Vexy said it just didn't sound right. Her tone was... Upset, sure, but there was a fear in it, a _knowing _fear, that made it sound literal.

Smurfette, because she was fleeing for her life, had to fight the urge to pause at the girl's exclamation. However, as she leaped out the window of Gargamel's dressing room, she wondered, _Is Vexy serious, or is that an exaggeration? _Surely the Naughty _wasn't_ serious... Gargamel wasn't _that_ insane, was he? Sure, he was mean and cranky, but no one was that bad, right? _There's no way he can just kill them-_ But her thoughts were cut short as she ran into some bottles in the alleyway. _Forget them!_ She thought, _I have to find Papa! _But that was easier said than done. She knew how big New York was. How confusing the streets were, how mean the people could be. Maybe she could find Grace and Patrick? Surely that's where Papa would go if he was looking for her... If he was he was looking for her.

She heard voices behind her as the Naughties, Gargamel's _evil_ creations caught up. But she knew they were something more. They were also her siblings.

_Siblings. _That was, actually, a word Smurfette wasn't used to using. Sure, Grace was her 'sister', but that was by choice... These two were actually created by the same man as her, made of probably a similar clay, and probably for similar reasons... Gargamel was there father as much as hers... She continued to run, pondering this and worrying if Papa was okay. The things Gargamel had said to her had made her doubt Papa Smurf, but only for a minute. Papa was Papa, and just because Gargamel had said some mean things didn't mean anything. She hoped not, at least...

In the Smurf village Smurfette was the only, well, Smurfette, of course, and the others knew it was because she was created by Gargamel, the Evil Wizard. Being the only female had its drawbacks, though. Everyone was always being nice-and not just kind nice, but _nice _nice_. _Some times sickeningly so, though she would never admit it. Truth be told, she saw the Smurfs as her family, so the fact that they all (Minus Papa) saw her romantically, was... Frustrating. She wasn't asking for much, she didn't think, by wishing for a brother or two in a whole village of males. Just... Just someone who wasn't romantically interested in her.

Some one... Like her real siblings...

Her thoughts were interrupted as she attempted to cross the road, only to be almost smashed by cars and people alike. _No!_ She thought, _How can I get away?_ She hid behind a stand of some sort to hopefully be rid of the Naughties. _Oh_,_ Papa, where are you? _She thought, scared and alone. Surely Papa was on his way. He was her real Papa, of course, no matter what anyone-especially Gargamel-said. For a second, just a second, she wondered if he could be Vexy and Hackus' Papa, as well. But Papa would have to be looking for her for him to find her, obviously...

What a great birthday this was turning out to be.

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**There are people in this fandom, right? Haha, just kidding! I've seen a few other stories posted here.**

**So! This is one-shot #1. It's short, I realize, but... meh.**

**So, a review would be great... May or may not put this on DA. And... Yeah. Not much else to say. :D**


	2. The Things We Do

**Title: The Things We Do**

**Rating: Teen for themes of abuse (Nothing too graphic)**

**Canon or AU?: Slight AU, but it was touched on in the second movie**

**Pairings?: A little at the end... ;) Canon, don't worry.**

**Inspiration: The scene in the movie where Vexy asks Papa if Smurfette was going to be punished at all (Spanked etc.). Pricat and I have a theory that Gargamel abused her, thus her reasoning.**

**The title of this was very difficult to think of -.-' Eventually settled on this cruddy thing XP**

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It may be sad to say, but failure was something Vexy was used to.

From the day she was created she had known failure and disappointment. Having a father like Gargamel doesn't really leave space for encouragement or a sense of purpose. It was always her trying to impress him; trying to make him proud at the cost of her pride, dignity, feelings... Sometimes she was even injured badly enough to concern Azrael, something she thought both amusing and really, _really _concerning.

With all this happening, at first she thought she was just a mistake. Everything she did for him was wrong, whether it be fetching something from the hotel room or setting up one of his spells (_that _only happened once). No matter how hard she tried she would fail. He would be angry, absolutely livid. He would say he hated her. That she was a mistake. And he would punish her for it so, eventually, she started to believe she _was _a mistake. How could she fail so many times if she _wasn't _is what she figured. She had scars that argued the same thing.

At this point it might be good to point out why she always _volunteered_ to do Father's dirty work. Hackus wasn't... Well, he wasn't like her. He loved Father, because he didn't know of the things Vexy did. He wasn't aware that there was a possibility that he could be a mistake just as much as she was. The thought terrified her; If Hackus ever found out such things... It would ruin him, and _that _would ruin _her. _She couldn't stand to see her brother unhappy, so, at the price of her own happiness, she shouldered the pain herself. Hackus had to be protected: And it was her job as his sister to do so.

So every time Father punished her she made sure Hackus knew nothing of it. And if he _did_ find out she would assure him she deserved it, and it wasn't Father's doing. Every scar she had would be covered, and the incident never spoken of again... At least, until Father punished her again. He was, at this point, very good at magic. He had mastered it very well. Especially the darker parts, which he used on the female Naughty. Flame-less fire spells, pins-and-needles spells, or sometimes just a hard smack when he felt she was too _stupid _to waste anymore time on.

_Useless, worthless, a failed experiment. _The words clung to Vexy like water to cloth. No matter how hard she tried, they were always there, taunting her, hurting her, knocking her down until she was nothing. And then they would wait patiently for her to recover, for her to start hoping again, and then they would be back.

She often thought of Smurfette when she hit the bottom like that. Had Smurfette ever suffered like she did? Had Smurfette ever been knocked across the room in a fit of Father's rage? Had she been punished for doing something foolish? _Did she have scars all over her body from her failures?! _She didn't think so. Smurfette had betrayed Father early on, so it wasn't likely...

...Was Father treating her like this _because _of Smurfette's betrayal? She knew it was the Smurf essence that he wanted, that was the reason they were made, of course, but had Smurfette changed him when she ran off? Did she hurt a part of him that he hadn't even known he had? Was that why he frowned at the term 'Father'? Why it was her, the younger sister of Smurfette, that he hated from the start? He didn't want to lose anything else?

Did Father hate her? The more she thought about it, the more she knew it must be true. Father didn't love her-or her brother. They were just pawns in his little game. And when Smurfette was added to the mix Vexy finally knew it for certain.

She volunteered to get Smurfette for many reasons. One being she didn't want Hackus to fail. This mission was life or death: either come back with Smurfette or be blown to pieces. Another reason being she _really _did want to impress Father. But the main reason, was... She wanted to know. That is, she wanted to know what made Smurfette so much better than her. Yes she had the Smurf formula, but why would the Smurfs even help her in the first place? Did she give them something? Make a deal with them? No one was just nice for no reason, at least... she didn't think so. At first.

After meeting her sister, however, and spending time with her, Vexy realized there was more to the world than Gargamel. More to life than pain and failure.

Things like hugs, for example. Never had she felt so warm and fuzzy as when her sister gave her a hug. It was... Strange. She was actually feeling...

Loved.

Gargamel hated her. Always had. She had hoped _so much _for a family that she actually thought he was it... But he wasn't. The _Smurfs _were family. A very large, very strange, annoyingly happy family.

She had finally figured that part out, at least.

Now she just had to figure out the looks Grouchy kept giving her.

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**A/N: So, how was it? The end... Well, I was getting depressed, so I hac to add in a cute Grouchy moment.**

**So, yeah. A review would be great! See you next time!**


	3. Prank Gone Awry?

**Title: Attract mini-series: Ep 1: Opposites/Prank Gone Awry?**

**Pairing: SMURF SLASH! GrouchyXJokey**

**Rating: K plus-ish**

**Canon or AU: AU, totally.**

**Time: I imagine the CG Smurfs doing this, but there is no particular time on this one. Though there is some SLIGHT pre-established slash.**

**Inspiration: So I got this idea from a GXJ shipper named Eyes Are The Soul (Who has a really cool and creepy Grouchy story: Go check it out!) And apparently my pet plot bunny Fluffy decided this needed to be a mini series, so here is chapter one.**

**THIS CONTAINS SLASH DON'T LIKE DON'T READ**

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They were opposites, the grouchy one and the pranky one. You would think a joke would tear the two apart, right? Well, actually, it brought them together.

Jokey was known for his, well, jokes. Bombs in presents, honey that ends up in uncomfortable places, buttons all over your floor-annoying yet harmless jokes. He was a cheerful Smurf, even if he did annoy every one. If some Smurf was down he would think of the best joke he knew to get the Smurf laughing agian-even if he himself was the but of the joke.

Grouchy, however, was known for his temper and glum mood. He hated everything from singing to dancing to other Smurfs. Nothing could make him happy except being away from others and having everything going his way. And even then he would still find something to complain about.

So everyone expected them to be enemies. But, being opposites, you would wonder if they really did. Opposites attract, right? And don't the usually attract... On accident?

Part I

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It was a beautiful day in the Smurf village. The sun shined brightly, the grass was warm, and there was a pleasant breeze. The Smurflings played Smurf ball, Papa chatted with Brainy and Gutsy, and Smurfette carried a basket as she skipped around. Jokey Smurf hummed a happy tune as he walked. He held a box under his arm, and patted it every now and then. A few Smurfs gave him a glance and groaned, but Jokey paid them no mind. He was too focused on what the day would bring. Or, more importantly, what his new prank would bring.

He grinned as wide as he could. His latest prank would be his best yet! Not a silly bomb present, or something as unoriginal as marbles in a populated place. No, this... This would get a _real_ laugh! This would make the Smurfs laugh for days! All he had to do was set it up, and then go down in history!

And he had just the spot to do it, too. There was a small clearing just outside of Smurf Village; Far enough away so nothing in the village would be damaged or cluttered, but close enough that he could still be seen by a curious Smurf. Which was exactly what he wanted.

Soon he had set up his marvelous trap, and he gazed at it with a loving look. The sun was lower on the horizon, but there was plenty of light to admire his handy work. _This will be the best prank ever! _He thought in awe of himself, _I'll go down in Smurf history for this! _He was so excited he did a little jig, grinning from ear to ear. He wondered who the unlucky Smurf would be that stumbled into his trap.

Brainy, maybe? He snickered. The _oh so clever _Smurf wouldn't see this one coming! What about Vanity? Ooh, that would be a real hoot! Gutsy or Hefty, maybe? Either of them would be made fools by his prank. He just hoped it would get Grouchy to laugh. The poor Smurf was always so uptight, and Jokey knew that couldn't be good for a Smurf. But seeing Grouchy laugh, oh man! That would be great!

He was so excited that he didn't pay attention to his own trap. He just sat there, grinning like a fool. At first he didn't notice that someone had given into their curiosity and approached the prankster Smurf. He was totally oblivious as the unknown Smurf walked up behind him. Unknown to Jokey, the other Smurf was watching him, suspicious of him.

"Jokey, what are you doing?"

The prankster Smurf nearly jumped out of his blue skin when he heard Smurfette's voice.

"O-oh! Smurfette! You scared the Smurf out of me!" He said as he quickly stood and looked at the girl. "I-I'm not doing anything! Nope, nothing at all..." He glanced behind him, making sure no parts of his masterpiece were visibly. Nope. He was good.

"Oh, really?" The Smurfette said, obviously not convinced. She moved to his side and glanced around. "You don't have any pranks planned today? You've been awfully quiet lately..."

He gulped, looking around. "Haha, nope! No jokes for Jokey today!" He couldn't risk her figuring it out and warning the others, and he knew that's what she would do.

"So, uh, why don't you head back to the village? It's getting late-" He saw her eyes widen, and he heard an aggravated voice behind him.

"What the Smurf? Where did all this Smurfing string come from?!"

Jokey cringed and turned around quickly. _Not him, please, any one but him! _But his silent plea went unheard, because there stood Grouchy tangled up in the first part of Jokey's trap. Jokey looked to his left and saw that his trap was beginning to work. A large plastic robot arm appeared from one of the nearby trees. It headed straight for Grouchy. Jokey didn't hear Grouchy's yelp of surprise of Smurfette's gasp of horror as he jumped in front of the grumpy Smurf.

The hand did just as Handy said it would; It grabbed Jokey by the torso and lifted him up. He could only widen his eyes in fright as the hand began phase three: Dunking him in a barrel of Smurfberry juice.

Sticky and dark blue, the jokester yelped in horror as he neared phase four. He had only a moment to think that this whole prank was a _berry _bad idea before being plunged and rolled in a pile of bird feathers.

The arm then held him upside down just above where Grouchy had untangled himself from the string and stood grinning.

"Well, hot-shot, how did that work for ya?" The grumpy Smurf snickered. Smurfette giggled despite her best efforts not to, and Jokey blushed.

"W-well, Grouchy Smurf, you must be a broom, because just swept me off my feet!"

The other Smurfs' eyes widened, and Jokey expected to get hit for his comment, but instead something strange happened.

Grouchy laughed. He _actually _laughed. At something Jokey had said.

The prankster looked to Smurfette, but she seemed just as confused as he was. She shrugged and walked off, sure the boys could handle themselves, and left Jokey, juiced and feathered, in Grouchy's hands.

"Well, _Hero_" Grouchy smirked as he finished, and Jokey shrank back as far as he could in the grip of the robot arm, "... Thanks." At Jokey's incredulous look the grouch continued, "You could have let me be pranked, but you didn't. And looking at you, I'm glad! I'm not going to say it again." He crossed his arms and glanced around, checking to see if anyone was watching, and Jokey gave him a confused look.

Jokey at first wondered if a feather had brushed against his cheek, that's how quick the kiss was. _But, _he decided later, giggling gleefully, y_ou don't see sparks when a feather touches you. _

It was these points that he repeated in his head over and over as he walked through the village. He thought of them to keep out the other Smurf's cheers and laughs, "_Looking good, Jokey!" "Oy, 'aving issues, lad?" "Oh my Smurf, you got pranked?!" _

He heard the taunts, sure, but he wasn't bothered by him. He knew his trap had failed epically, but that didn't bother him. He knew he would be washing juice and feathers off for days, but that also did not bother him. All because of one little triumphant voice in his head that reminded him: _It was worth it._

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**Okay, so I suck at endings. Dunno when part two will be, don't even know if any one wants one, but meh.**

**Review?**


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